What the heck has happened to the year? As the year is starting to come to an end, I am looking back on the year and wondering if I achieved all the little things I wanted to achieve this year.
•• Go to my kids’ class and do reading. Fail so far.
•• Go to my kids’ after school sports to watch them play. Made it three times so far.
•• Have a weekend away with the girls. Fail so far.
•• Go to Pilates twice a week. Lucky to make it once a month.
•• Take my toenail polish off. No time, fifth coat looks ‘fabulous’ albeit a little, ok a lot, chunky in places, but who looks at feet anyway?
As every day goes by, we look at our children, and they seem older after every day at school. And we get little pangs of regret that we aren’t fitting enough quality time in with them. Kids sure do teach us about how valuable time is.
The thing is, I had to make a choice a long time ago, and that was to look at all the things I actually do do, rather than beat myself up about the things I don’t do for myself, my family, and those in my life. Because you know what? Dammit, I do a lot for them. Why the hell do we focus on what we haven’t done rather than what we actually have done, which is often more incredible than these little things, that sure, mean a lot to us, but didn’t make the cut?
Yes, I want to be an incredible mum, partner, friend, business owner, leader, citizen of the world, daughter, sister, and many other things. But I realised that if I am not kind to myself, that if I beat myself up all the time mentally, telling myself I am a crappy person or crappy mum because I don’t make it to my child’s class every week like other mums, then I am going to die a little inside for comparing my life to others.
Comparison is the thief of joy. How can we be a good parent if we lose our sense of joy because we have beat ourselves up like egg whites till we are stiff and only good for baking? Ok, bad analogy, but you get my point. So yes, I wish I had done all of the above list better this year. And yes, I am going to try and jam it all into the last two months of this year as much as I can and do better next year, that’s what some parents have to do.
Look at your kids, if they are happy, loved, and growing into little humans you are proud of, you are doing a pretty spectacular job, so be proud of yourself. This parenting thing is damn hard work.