Imagine a life where you love yourself, warts and all, and you allow others to do the same. People who truly care about you, don’t expect you to be perfect; they want you to be authentic.
Just like we can’t have night without day and rainbows without rain, we all have a bright and dark side to us with positive and negative attributes. The funny thing is, we often connect with others over our insecurities, quirks, and struggles. I interviewed Dain Heer, author, change-maker, speaker and co-creator of Access Consciousness on the PakMag Podcast to find out more about how we can embrace imperfection.
Why is perfection killing us, and how can we embrace imperfection?
Those that strive for perfection; everyone hates… well, dislikes vehemently. That’s because we know these people are doing it to prove themselves and are full of doubt. They’re not doing it for the joy of it, they’re not doing it to contribute to other people, and this striving for perfection is unhealthy and unproductive.
Perfection is basically the highest form of judgement, and we inherently know that judgement never feels good. Someone once said to me “Breathe, you know no one likes anyone that’s perfect”, and I was like, “Ah, that’s really true”. So why does everyone strive for perfection when you know no one wants to see anyone perfect anyway?
Why be your own cheerleader?
Being your own cheerleader means keeping your spirits up and cheering for yourself even when others belittle what you’re trying to achieve. By being your own cheerleader, you give yourself permission to unashamedly care about what you’re trying to accomplish, and you don’t let anything or anyone stop you.
How can we silence our inner critic?
98 percent of your thoughts, feelings and emotions you pick up from others. It’s great practice to ask “Who does this belong to?”, and “Is this mine?’’ to any thoughts, feelings and emotions that come about. If they’re not yours, that’s an acknowledgement that you’re picking them up from other people. In the past I have woken up with a sense of overwhelming depression – a sense of not knowing if I could even spend another day on the planet. I asked myself “Who does this belong to?”, and all of a sudden it disappeared. It was gone. All you have to do is return it
to the sender. Don’t be burdened by all of these things that you’re aware of from other people’s worlds.
How can we curb our self-judgement and increase our happiness and self-love?
I love this saying. “What if everything I thought was a wrongness of me is actually a strongness of me?”
Dr Dain Heer is an author, change-maker, speaker and co-creator of Access Consciousness, one of the world’s largest personal development companies. Heer is also the founder of International Being You Day. For more than twenty years, he has travelled the world, sharing his unique insights on happiness, relationships, getting over the yuck, and everything in between! In his talks and workshops, he uses a set of tools and provides step by step energetic processes to get people out of the conclusions and judgments that are keeping them stuck in a cycle of no choice and no change.
For more on this topic with Dain, tune into Episode 113 of the PakMag Parents Podcast .