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Imagine a life where you love yourself, warts and all, and you allow others to do the same. People who truly care about you, don’t expect you to be perfect; they want you to be authentic. Just like we can’t have night without day and rainbows without rain, we all have a bright and dark side to us with positive and negative attributes.

The funny thing is, we often connect with others over our insecurities, quirks, and struggles.

I interviewed Dain Heer, author, change-maker, speaker and co-creator of Access Consciousness on the PakMag Podcast to find out more about how we can embrace imperfection.

Why is perfection killing us, and how can we embrace imperfection?

Those that strive for perfection; everyone hates… well, dislikes vehemently. That’s because we know these people are doing it to prove themselves and are full of doubt. They’re not doing it for the joy of it, they’re not doing it to contribute to other people, and this striving for perfection is unhealthy and unproductive. Perfection is basically the highest form of judgement, and we inherently know that judgement never feels good. Someone once said to me “Breathe, you know no one likes anyone that’s perfect”, and I was like, “Ah, that’s really true”. So why does everyone strive for perfection when you know no one wants to see anyone perfect anyway?

Why be your own cheerleader?

Being your own cheerleader means keeping your spirits up and cheering for yourself even when others belittle what you’re trying to achieve. By being your own cheerleader, you give yourself permission to unashamedly care about what you’re trying to accomplish, and you don’t let anything or anyone stop you.

How can we silence our inner critic?

98 percent of your thoughts, feelings and emotions you pick up from others. It’s great practice to ask “Who does this belong to?”, and “Is this mine?’’ to any thoughts, feelings and emotions that come about. If they’re not
yours, that’s an acknowledgement that you’re picking them up from other people. In the past I have woken up with a sense of overwhelming depression – a sense of not knowing if I could even spend another day on the planet. I asked myself “Who does this belong to?”, and all of a sudden it disappeared. It was gone. All you have to do is return it to the sender. Don’t be burdened by all of these things that you’re aware of from other people’s worlds.

How can we curb our self-judgement and increase our happiness and self-love?

I love this saying. “What if everything I thought was a wrongness of me is actually a strongness of me?”

For more on this topic with Dain, tune into Episode 113 of the PakMag Parents Podcast.


  • Bree James

    Bree James, epitomises ‘entrepreneur’. From starting her first official business at the age of eighteen, to running one of Australia’s most successful regional publishing companies, Bree has entrepreneurial DNA in every fibre of her being. The eternal solution finder, Bree’s innate ability to seize opportunity and fill market gaps has attributed to her huge success in the business world. But she’s more than just the driving force behind her own enterprises. Working with organisations around the country, Bree is also an acclaimed presenter, author, podcaster, travel writer, YouTuber, performer, and an inspirational mentor to small business owners everywhere. Her philosophy in life is to be brave, be bold and be brilliant.