Parents wear many different hats. We’re always mum and dad but we are also so much more. In the blink of an eye we can go from loving comforters, nurturing our little ones after a bad day at school, to fearful enforcers, kindly asking (okay, yelling at) our kids to pick up their shoes (for the eighth billion time).
While most of us can easily shift from the kind, loving, accepting parent to the strict, ordered and practical parent, did you ever stop to think what’s guiding these changes?
There’s an energy system at play here, known as masculine and feminine energy. And it impacts our daily lives more than we may realise.
How masculine and feminine energy works
We all have masculine and feminine energy in ourselves. Typically we are guided more by one over the other. However, just because you are female doesn’t necessarily mean you are more guided by feminine energy. Despite the name, masculine and feminine energy isn’t a gender thing.
In relationships, we tend to think that one person must be guided by masculine energy and another by feminine energy. This is how the law of attraction works – the more opposed these energies are, the stronger the attraction.
But when it comes to parenting, this isn’t the case. Sure, being pregnant and giving birth, channels our feminine energy. But parenthood requires both masculine and feminine energy on a daily basis which is why we can all benefit from learning how to identify and develop both.
The masculine energy at work
Typically, masculine energy is at play when doing the practical things – planning meals for the week, budgeting for the month, scheduling the kids’ many activities, ushering everyone out the door on time in the mornings, organising birthday parties and disciplining the kids when they misbehave.
When our masculine energy is at work, we often place intellect and logic over emotion. We’re practical, forceful, assertive and reasonable. We use forward-thinking and are focused on the task at hand.
The feminine energy at play
Our feminine energy is often what guides us through those late night feeds with our newborns, what makes us swell up with pride (and tears) when our child wins a race at an athletics carnival and what allows us to see the frustration our toddler feels underneath those awful tantrums.
When we are guided by our feminine energy, we are connected to emotions. More adaptable, sensual, imaginative, intuitive, creative and playful.
Still a bit lost? Think of it this way. Masculine energy is made up of a straight line. It’s all about getting from point A to point B. Practical. Logical. To the point.
Feminine energy is more of a curved line or swirl. It’s fluid, flexible and all over the place. Feminine energy allows us to do 25 things at once, adapt, grow and take emotions and changes into account.
Finding the balance
It’s quite common for us to get caught up in one over the other which can put ourselves and our ability to be a balanced parent all out of whack. For example, if you’re letting the masculine energy guide you too much, you may start to feel tired, stressed, overworked and missing that element of fun. But if you let the feminine energy guide you too much, you may have trouble making decisions, standing your ground or getting tasks done.
Here are a few ways to channel your feminine and masculine energies.
Feeling overworked? Find your feminine
Head outdoors – Rainforests, creeks and the ocean are all teeming with natural feminine energy. Go for a hike in the rainforest or a stroll along the beach if you’re feeling the masculine burn.
Try something creative – Draw, cook, colour in, paint, dance, write or simply take some time to build animals out of Play-Doh with the kids. These tasks let you relax and express yourself through a creative outlet.
Let go of the control – It sounds easy, but it’s not (take it from me, a self-confessed control freak)! Sometimes letting someone else take control and watch them do it wrong (I mean, differently), can leave you feeling agitated. Breathe and take a step back. It’s good for your soul.
Live in the now – Our world is fast-paced and it can be quite easy to get caught up in the ‘what’s next’ mentality. It’s hard to get used to this feeling of ‘relaxing’ when you’re constantly busy and it can feel like you ‘should’ be doing something. You shouldn’t. We all need to do nothing every once in a while. Read a magazine without feeling guilty, watch an entire Pixar movie in bed with the kids, sit outside and stare at the trees. And put the phone away – it’s hard to live in the ‘now’ when you’re checking emails, Facebook messages or scrolling through what others are up to.
Unfocused and unmotivated? Bring on the masculine
Challenge yourself – Start something with a goal to not only finish it, but nail it. Whether it’s a challenge through your gym or a challenge that involves you going out of your comfort zone, find the motivation to give it a go.
Construct something – The act of building something is very masculine. This doesn’t mean you have to buy out half of Bunnings in an attempt to rebuild your kitchen. You can, of course, or you can start a bit smaller. My son and I recently made a little key holder (following instructions I found online) which was a fun bonding activity that used that linear masculine thinking.
Plan ahead – Masculine energy is all about moving forward. To channel this masculine energy, plan a function, an event or a holiday. Make a list of things to do and tackle them, one by one. To-do lists are great when we need to find that productiveness that might be lacking.
Using masculine and feminine energies to your advantage
Conflict at home, with your partner and with your kids, often occurs when masculine and feminine energies are not in balance. For example, if both you and your partner are taking on the masculine role, it can lead to a fight for power.
Remember, polar energy attracts. Be aware of what energy is guiding yourself, your partner or your children at any given time and try to adjust accordingly. Finding that harmonic balance at home starts with learning how to identity and develop these very powerful energies.