THE THING IS… FOR YOU
I am not sure about you, but there are two words my husband says that make me want to stab him in the eye with a hot fork.
These two words – “for you” – drive me nuts.
If I hear them at the wrong time; when I am tired, hangry, grumpy, stretched, or I’ve just completed my millionth task for the day – the two words “for you” are heard as if they are hot chilli in an open wound. It takes all of my strength and self-control not to lose it and snap.
I mentioned my fury of these two words in the office and my whole team agreed, we all got pretty fired up about these two little words.
The Thing Is… this statement “for you” insinuates that it’s our job or we’ve been done a favour:
I looked after the kids (for you)
I cooked dinner (for you)
I folded the washing (for you)
I cleaned the car (for you)
I picked up my clothes (for you)
I washed the dishes (for you)
I picked up the kids (for you)
To even, I had a shave (for you). What the!?
I can feel your blood boiling as you read this. I can see your head nodding so much it’s going to fall off.
So, what are we going to do about this annoying “for you” statement?
Well…. I don’t know.
It’s not just our partners. Other people in our lives say it too: It’s so great your partner is so hands-on with the kids “for you”.
Maybe we need to say nothing. Maybe we need to keep our volcano emotions simmering a little longer. Or maybe, we need to do what we do with our kids when they mispronounce a word, and say “yes, you looked after the kids – for our family”, “yes, you folded the washing – for our family” and replace “for you” with “for our family” and maybe they will get the subtle hint…
OK, it may not be subtle.
So instead of getting mad, and doing it back (let’s face it if we started saying “for you” we’d say that more than “No”) let’s try and reframe and see if that works.
I don’t know. But right now, if someone says “for you” to me and it’s not really “for me” then you may all be hearing from me from a deserted island. So, people reading this who have the tendency to put “for you” at the end of a job, make sure it’s really true. In my world, unless it’s, I prepared this bath “for you” or I booked a surprise massage “for you” and it’s really something for me then no more saying “for you” OK? No more for you. Feel free to leave this article open somewhere obvious “for you” to read. You’re welcome.