THE THING IS… REST

THE THING IS... MEN AND WOMEN ARE SO DIFFERENT

Recently the people in my life have told me I need to relax more, that I am looking tired and need a rest (just what us mums LOVE to hear). I’ve never been that good at chilling out. I have two speeds – full speed, or no speed. So, my idea of chilling out sees me falling asleep somewhere. If I am bored or relaxed, I’m like one of those tourists that can fall asleep anywhere; the movies, in a camp chair, whilst someone is driving me somewhere, while I am on the phone, and even in a bath. My dad once had a micro sleep whilst on stage singing a song and playing the guitar, he woke startled still doing both – so it must be in the genes!

The thing is, you gotta rest when you can, especially when you are a parent. However I find it hilarious the type of ‘rest’ you actually get as a parent.

It starts like this. “Honey, can I please have a sleep in tomorrow morning? You had one yesterday”. Yes, parents trade sleeping hours more than dollars on the stock exchange. Sleep is our most valuable asset to trade; more than food, sexy time and time out socialising.

The much-anticipated sleep in morning arrives, and of course, you are woken early. You kick your partner to get out of bed and remind them it’s your turn for a sleep in. Five minutes later the whole family is in the bed, the wrestling and fighting begins, and you know that’s the end of your sleep in.

Then you think, “lets wear out the kids, we can go for a long walk or scooter ride and then come back and they can have a rest and watch a movie, and I’ll try and nap then”… What is with kids and burning energy?

Just when you think you have worn them out, they are like dogs when you take them for a walk, they have a second bowel and there is always more poo and wee. Kids have more energy than the sun.

You attempt to have a day nap, but while the kids are quiet, you quickly chuck on dinner, pop in a load of washing and tidy up before you have a nap – you can’t rest when there are things to do! But, like looking at Facebook, you lose hours a day that could have been spent doing something better that replenishes you, like having a nap. But that moment is now gone and you commit to having an early night in bed.

The kids then have their next burst of energy.

Their dinner seems to energise them more, as does the water from their bathtime. They run around the house like dogs that have just had a bath for another thirty minutes while you are dragging your tired body around the house like an overused mop. You finally get them to bed, it takes about an hour of kisses, cuddles, discussions, drinks, more D&M’s, more cuddles, and finally they sleep.

Success.

After some more cleaning, you finally hop into bed for that long awaited nap. But then for some reason, your brain gets a second wind and you think about ALL the things you need to do. After a few hours, you finally fall asleep and groundhog day continues.

So here is a pro tip. If you want a non-interrupted nap, tell your family when you wake you’re all going to clean the house together. They will literally do anything to avoid waking you and maybe, just maybe, you might get that rest you’ve been longing for.

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