The Six Friends You Need to Cull from Your Life
You’ve heard of a toxic friendship. But do you know the signs that you could be in one? Some friendships are worth breaking and will result in a more positive outlook on life. Here are six of the friends that you may need to cut out of your life.
The “Friends Forever” Mate
You’ve been friends for years. But you can’t even really remember why. These are the friends you’ve known since pre-school, primary school and high school and who you simply cannot cull because of the history.
Well, ladies and gents, people change over time. Just because there is history doesn’t mean you need to remain friends with them, especially if you have changed in completely different directions and you no longer enjoy their company. You do not ‘owe’ anyone a friendship. If the friendship in frozen in the past, it might be time to let it go.
The “Captain Judgey Pants” Friend
Ever meet for coffee with a friend, only to return to your car somehow feeling like bad about yourself? It happens. It happens a lot. And it’s often because of a toxic friendship. In most cases, your mate isn’t purposely trying to make you feel bad, but it inadvertently happens when she is discussing how awesome her life is and how you’ve made poor life choices. This may not be in the form of words, but in looks, in gestures, in eye rolls, in sly comments that somehow make you feel like you’ve done something wrong.
Whether it’s due to jealousy, passive aggressive behaviour or anything else, it’s time to kiss those coffee dates goodbye. Because friends are supposed to make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
The “When it Suits Me” Mate
We are all busy people. I haven’t seen one of my best friends in over a month and yes, I feel awful about it. But, the ‘when it suits me’ friend is different. This is someone who floats in and out of your life when it is convenient for them. Often it is when they are single or bored. When you need them, they are not there. When you make plans, they are usually busy.
Friendship, like all relationships, is a two-way street.
The “Flaker” Friend
You make plans. You arrive. You receive a text that she has to cancel. Again. And again. And again. Flaker friend is annoying and not worth your time. Goodbye Flaker Friend.
The “Bad Influence” Mate
You are a big girl and can make your own decisions. But there are some people that simply bring out the worst in you. They are probably super fun but if you are making decisions with them that you are later regretting, then it might be time to take responsibility and remove this temptation from your life. Or at least limit it until you can control it.
The “Competitive” Friend
You get engaged on the beach. She gets engaged on a remote island with doves flying around her head. You hire a great cover band at your wedding. She hires Katy Perry. Your child gets a medal in soccer. Her child gets a trophy. You know this friend too – she has to one-up you on everything. Again, she may not even realising she is doing it…but if it’s making you feel like your life is insignifant in comparison to hers, then walk away.
Cover bands make for better parties anyway.
Check out our blog on the five friends you need in your life.