Let’s talk about sex, baby… or shall we say, after baby. If you’re a new mum, special cuddles after baby is probably the last thing you want to think about.
You’re squishy in the stomach, you’re mushy in the brain and you’re leaking from the breasts. You probably feel as sexy as a toilet seat, and this is perfectly normal.
But there will come a time when sex returns to the table. Your libido may return straight away, it may take a few weeks or it could take several months (all completely normal). When the time does come to return to the bedroom after giving birth, here are a few facts and figures to keep in mind.
When Can We Do It Again?
Experts suggest that new mums wait until after they have stopped bleeding before getting intimate. This is generally around four to six weeks but it can be earlier or much later.
40 per cent of first-time mums tried having sex by six weeks postpartum.
80 per cent of first-time mums tried having sex by 12 weeks postpartum.
“But I Don’t Want To”
This is a pretty common response for new mums. And there could be a number of reasons for this. You;re feeling tired, hormonal and all touched out, you’re mentally or physically recovering from birth, you’re worried about falling pregnant again, you would rather take a shower than ‘cuddle’ during baby’s naptime, you’re nervous about your new after-baby body, or you just don’t feel sexy – all valid reasons!
Before you have sex, talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. More likely than not, your partner will be happy to wait until you’re ready. After all, it takes two to tango.
Do’s and Don’ts of Doing It
DO expect a bit of discomfort the first time around. Your body has been through a massive change and things are bound to be a bit sore and strange down there.DO use lubricant, as this can help with soreness and dryness.
DO consider contraception, even if breastfeeding. Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding day and night, there is still a risk of falling pregnant.
DO ease your way into it. If you’re just not ready, take it slow with other intimate activities such as massage.
DON’T do anything you’re not comfortable with.
DON’T be ashamed if you’re not ready. There is no schedule when it comes to being intimate.
DON’T be alarmed if things feel a bit different or if you happen to leak breast milk during the action. It happens to the best of us!
Bringing Sexy Back
When you become a mum, your baby becomes your number one priority. Everything else, including intimacy, takes a back seat to your little bundle of joy.
Taking care of yourself by eating right, sleeping (as much as you can) and indulging in a bit of me-time (and a shower!) can all help you feel more like yourself again. Once your energy returns, your libido will follow.
And if not, your GP is only a phone call away!