This time of year brings up a lot of feelings for many of us.
Feelings of connection, and feelings of disconnection. Feelings of possibility, and feelings of impossibility. Feelings of abundance, and feelings of lacking. Feelings of happiness, and feelings of sadness, and so many other emotions that swing both ends of the spectrum.
The thing is, we need to have both sides. Everything in the universe has an opposite. Could you know happiness without sadness? Is there love without pain? Dark, without light? Polarity allows us to experience both sides of life, which enables us to truly appreciate when things are going well for us. Newton’s Third Law of Motion explains the law of polarity perfectly “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
We are living in a very polarising time, where opposing thoughts and feelings are being brought to our attention stronger than ever before. It’s very challenging for many of us seeing people we love going in the opposite way to where we think they should. A sign that you are polarised around an issue is when it triggers an emotional response where you feel compelled to argue one side or the other. Being aware of this can really help you stay more neutral and see both sides for what they are. The world would be a much more peaceful place if we embraced the fact that there has to be two opposing views, and that both are ok.
Parenting certainly brings us many polarising moments. From absolute joy and laughter, to despair and tears; parenting is filled with opposites that keep us on our toes. Like the “I hate you mum” moments… there is nothing quite as hurtful, yet hilarious, when your child throws this one at you. It’s kind of like you’ve graduated as a parent, but you can’t help having a moment where you feel like you may be failing at this whole parenting gig when these words slip out of your child’s mouth.
Then there’s the opposite ways we parent to our partner, and the opposite ways our children behave. It astounds me that I have two children with the same gene pool and household, but they can be totally opposite to each other. The organised versus disorganised, the clean versus the untidy, the calm versus the crazy, and that goes for their parents too! It’s enough to drive you mad when someone has an opposite way of “being” in your life. I am an early riser who likes to get stuff done, my husband is a night owl that loves to chill out.
Sure, having things in common helps make relationships work, but what makes a relationship passionate – is the differences and embracing them. Just like the two sides of a magnet; if the two energies that are the same try to merge, they repel, when the opposite energies try to merge – they attract to each other. As they say- opposites attract, so it’s interesting that we fall into the trap of wanting people to think, feel, and be the same as us.
So, as much as the people in your world may have opposing views, beliefs, standards, and personalities to you, these people are important to have in our life. They are the spice to an otherwise vanilla life.
We can’t have a positive without a negative, and as much as many of us want to avoid pain, fear, and sadness – we need these times so we can experience pleasure, hope and joy. Without rain nothing grows.
The life of this world is nothing but the harmony of opposites, and as much as it drives me nuts sometimes, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As we close off this year, it’s normal to feel excited and hesitant for 2022. I am feeling both optimistic and pessimistic, and that is a good thing, I hope you feel that way too.