As I get older, I am finding my tolerance levels are lowering.
My people skills are fine, it’s just my tolerance towards idiots and humans who lack a moral compass that I am really starting to struggle with.
So, I guess my people skills are starting to deteriorate…
The thing is, I used to be very tolerant, understanding and empathetic. If you treated me poorly or did the wrong thing, I’d make many excuses for you and tolerate it. But the older I get, the more I value time, health and energy. Let’s face it, having kids is relentless; I haven’t got the time for shaving my legs – let alone tolerating a so-and-so, who is not adding positively to me or my family’s life.
I believe there comes a point in your life where you realise – you get what you tolerate.
I’m going to blame my kids for my intolerance.
Sure, they ask me a bazillion questions that they really know the answer to and it drives me insane, and they fight constantly about things that don’t matter – but that’s not why it’s their fault. It’s their fault, because since bringing them into this world, I have realised how short life is. How important time is. And how less is more. Any time I take away from my family, friends and things I love – has to be worth it. Every ‘Yes’ to something I don’t want to do, is a ‘No’ to them. Every minute wasted on a crappy person, work worry, or situation I can’t change – needs to be considered whether it is worthy.
I explained to my kids the other day, that if they play a video game for 30 minutes each day – that is nearly eight days of the years’ 365 – taken up just like that. It’s scary when you quantify it. We then worked out how many weekends we have together before they might move out of home, and that number scared all of us too!
So, now my family are quantifying a lot of our time, and I have discovered I certainly spend way too much of my time cleaning!
Life is so short.
In the end, on our death beds – we will not be worried about many of the silly things that are taking up our brain space right now. I am going to start asking myself – will this matter when I am 85? If it’s a ‘No’, I’ll try my best to remove it from my brain as fast as possible. I certainly won’t remember it – or my own name when I am 85 – so I may as well forget and forgive now.
Sure, I’ve been burnt more times than an English backpacker at the beach. And yes, I’ve learnt the hard way and had my heart broken so many times by people – that I could write a lot of soppy country songs. But when I look back, it was my fault. I tolerated things I shouldn’t – and you get what you tolerate.
We all have people and things in our life that we tolerate. And if there is one thing I know for sure, it isn’t the ups and downs that make life difficult; it’s the jerks. So, have a ‘jerk cleanse’, your life will thank you for it in the long run. Good luck.