Quitting, it’s something we have been told since we were little, that we should avoid at all costs. That it’s for losers, that we should never give up. That we should give things our absolute all before we even consider giving up.
The thing is, despite popular opinion, quitting is also for winners.
I am someone that rarely gives up and it’s a great quality of mine that has paid off countless times. However, many times not quitting has also been to my detriment (like my toasted sandwich and milo addiction in high school which saw me put on 10 kilos).
Knowing when to remove yourself from toxic people and situations, giving up on things that aren’t working, and being ok with giving up is in fact bold and brave. Many of us tolerate so much bad behaviour from others. Deep down we know we shouldn’t, but we see it as a sign of strength to put up with and rise above their ways and try to lead by example.
I’ve been like this for decades, but I know that you are only as good as the people you have supporting you in your life. So, last year I quit trying to appease everyone and it was one of the best things I have ever quit in my life. My mantra was “you get what you tolerate”. As a patient person who always tries to see the best and bring out the best in others, I made so many excuses for people that I shouldn’t have. So, I quit that too.
“You get what you tolerate” made me speak up when I’d usually just try and see a positive. Instead I’d call them out on their behavior and stand up for myself. It wasn’t easy and sure, many people didn’t like my new boundaries and have left my life, but how you treat yourself is how others will treat you.
I will always try and see the best and try to bring out the best in others, but I also realise that I need to see people as who they are, not who I believe they could be (for me as a prolific improver I find this very hard). So, I also quit looking through rose coloured glasses and took more notice of peoples’ actions, not just their words. For instance, people who say they love my kids but don’t make an effort to spend time with them
(more on that another time).
Some people don’t want to grow. Some people are happy being unhappy. And some people are judgmental, unkind, or neurotic and no matter how much you try and kill them with kindness, you can’t put flowers in an A-hole and call it a vase.
Sure, there is good in everyone, but sometimes no matter how good a person you are to some people, they will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons. Read that again.
So, my wonderful readers, if this has resonated with you, I encourage you to try the “you get what you tolerate” mantra, and be proud of yourself for quitting habits, people, and things that really don’t serve you.
I truly hope during this process that people step up not step off for you (unless you’re happy with that of course!).